Saturday, September 26, 2015

meeting your master

You know, I've always labeled you as my soul mate.  Even though after you left, I made myself believe it wasn't meant to be.  As if we would somehow ruin it... you know, the memory of us.  Our distance keeps it pure in its grandeur.  I told myself that people aren't suppose to end up with their soul mate...  the dizziness in our flesh radiates down into our bones to remain tucked away safely.  Similar to how physicist tell us if we were to come in contact with our "anti" selves in the universe, our existance would implode from a touch.  if we were to actually be together it would somehow kill us, the coexistence in real life would run our perfect story to the grave. And who would want that?  You were my first love.  A young love. The perfect summer fling.  You are a wish holding a coin in the pond.  You are my moon in the sky...  I can't touch you, but I know you will always be there.  I feel you were put in my life to shake me up just enough to believe in love so i keep chasing that feeling for the rest of my life...  how fitting to be on opposite coasts.  I have always felt you as a huge part of who I am.  Even when I move from chapter to chapter. I have never stopped thinking about you.  I will always think of myself as the female version of you... even if I am living in a different dream.           

Friday, July 26, 2013

Love is a mix of photons and smell

Ride with me chasing clouds of thunder, breath in the silver lining as it shoots up from under. 
 And as the days come and go,  just as the sun rises and sets...  We can soar past the sore past of wrongs and regrets.
 let us follow the great star with its vibrating force, we can chase the sun set while it travels its course. We can watch the hues get thrown on the sky...  let the color and passsion reflect on our bodies as we lie.
Something about about your pheromones and the light we create...  You are my love, my life, and my fate.  
Destination anywhere... away from here,  as long as i have you my destiny is clear.  
So follow the sunset with me, we can travel to the west... create a life all of our own, putting our problems at rest.  

Saturday, October 20, 2012


do you think your infertility has something to do with mules? you may have the default body made by a cool breeze... but you talk to feng shui in the dark. cast away, you are an outcast.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


good things come to those who procrastinate? is it the anticipation build up that makes the reward that much sweeter? if i just do it and get it over with. it is just that. gone. no reveling in the rich opoiate. take time. think. sniff the flower. it is the process... the slow process that creates the experiences. yet, in the same. Im conflicted. you cant just wait for the doors to open. and you cant put off for too long. just enough to realize the importance. just long enough to realize you are too late. To wait or not to wait. That is the question.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

when a crab gives birth to a bird

I used to think I was a bird. And I can feel I am getting my wings back. But for the past year I have been a crab. I have let someone get the best of me. Let manipulation morph me into a crab. Crabs simply cannot give birth to a bird. I wanted more for My son. Wanted him to be free. Like I used to be at one time. Like i am returning to now. It just saddens me I have wasted a year with this hard carapace and snapping claws.

let go woman, let go

think with your brain dear just this once. you have been fooled, decieved, and all the signs point in the other direction. but you love him. he can be a liar, a thief, he may flirt and talk to many women. but he loves you. he cant help it. wake up woman. you deserve more. something that can grow. something real. something that can be created and everstrong. why cant you let go. your future will be grimm. your sons future compromised. doesnt he, your son, your world, if not you... deserve more? you say it is not affecting him. the fighting. the misery. the lies. the attitude. the distraction. it does. and you know it. deep down. stop being selfish. stop being loyal to the wrong people. open your heart to someone worthy. someone light hearted. someone who will treat you like you deserve. a princess even. and be a good role model. you know the signs. they are all there. you know if you just let go you will be free to be happy. free to love and let love. pay attetion to hats and cornfields. they are telling you that you can. be strong. hold your head up. he may love you. but not in a way that is best. not a way that is true. not in a way that is right. let go woman. let go. go be happy. let your heart dance with the trees.